1. The best way to know when your asparagus is done is when you’re bored and don’t want to wait to eat it.
2. Breast cancer is a made of suck disease that attacks one of my very favourite organs of ladies.
3. Albert Einstien was a Physicist. Not a quotation generation machine.
4. Dora, you’re weird. You’re a toddler, you should be inside.
5. Doctor pepper ten. It’s not for women. It’s for apparently, misogynists.
6. Hank, if you could be an athlete, who would you be? This would challenge Hank’s ability to name an athlete.
7. The venn diagram of boys who don’t like smart girls and boys you don’t wanna date is a circle.
8. There are going to be some people in your life who do not wanna kiss you.
9. When I was a kid, I believed that the definition of “Rich” was that you had stairs in your house.
10. Oh my god, I am a banana.
11. Whenever I would bring a girlfriend home, mom would show her my baby pictures and say, “Look at that tiny penis! When he came out of my body, I was like are you sure that’s a boy?” and I would call up Mad Eye Moody and be like, “I’m gonna need a disillusionment charm. ASAP.”
12. I don’t wanna film the yeti because I think her cute will break the camera.
13. I am very bad at video games, but I’m very passionate about them.
14. If you’re not the person giving birth, it’s time for you to say “You’re doing awesome!” and then faint.
15. Hank, I’ve been thinking about this. What is keeping you from being the next Justin Beiber.
16. Whenever you’re furious with your parents, just remember that you vomited on them, and they kept you.
17. Next you’ll tell me that six to the fifth power is not four.
18. Fishing boat proceeds are the unicorn of my tax returns!
19. I’m very lazy, not that I don’t work hard, but I don’t move much.
20. Even though my baby is gonna have a doofus for a dad, he’s gonna have an awesome mom. And an awesome Uncle Hank and Aunt Katherine.
Photographer Karen Abad borrowed a friend’s adorable baby to create these wickedly cute images of her favorite TV shows.
Baby Walter White is by far our favorite. See the rest below!
I have bronchitis. Thanks to the ACA, I was able to get medicine for $0. #ThanksObama
that came from taxes I paid.
Well, let my know how much I owe you and I’ll drop a few pennies in the mail. War comes from taxes you paid, and I personally dislike the amount I pay going for that… Maybe we should check “yes” or “no” on our 1040 forms this year for allocation of tax dollars.
I’m sorry you think I’m lying, but I’m not. I qualified for the Medicaid expansion under the ACA, which is partially funded through taxpayer revenue. I don’t think the IRS mailed you a letter saying, “Nah nah nah nah naaaaaaah! This year’s tax dollars went to pay for medicine for poor people mwahahaha!” Who knows? Maybe YOUR portion of tax dollars went to a Hellfire missile that took out a village in Afghanistan. Ooh, how exciting for you!
Comfort yourself with that thought as I use my inhaler, which I would not have been able to afford without the ACA.
Just finished working on a new print that I’ll have with me at cons this year. I’d been posting the process pics on Facebook, and a surprisingly low amount of people recognized that the image was a throwback, so I’ve included the reference image along with it here.
Hope you guys dig it!
Oh, and my convention schedule can be seen here!
The choices for the books are phenomenal!
THAT WAS SOME SERIOUS BULLSHIT, ACADEMY. Either your WHOLE In Memoriam list goes online, or NONE of it does.